Tis' the Season

My Mom, Dad and I checked out one house in Bayside (Queens) with infamous lighting. I'm at a loss for words:

Don't Stick a Fork In Me Yet

I noticed this ad has recently started showing up on my Facebook profile. I know my birthday is this June, but couldn't they wait?

Whatever, thirty is the new twenty.

Pudding Pies

I used to dream about these and I was devastated when they were discontinued.

The Food Pyramid

Dennis found this and this shit took me back! Not that I grew up in the 'hood (just Park Slope pre-hyper hipsterfication), but anyone who grew up in NYC should remember trying to stretch that dollar as far as it could go at the cake stand at their local local bodgea, Korean grocery, Optimo, Te-Amo what have you...

"These won't go bad until 2000 forever."

My winning combo:

• $.50 Crunchy mini-donut pack/Iced honey bun (with the white frosting, not that clear shit/frosted apple pie cakes
  
• $.25 4-cookie Drakes packs (strangely not covered in this video). I think they're up to $.35 a pack now which sucks, but for a quarter, they were a ton of calories for the penny. Best flavors: lemon, coconut or oatmeal
• $.25 Gotta go savory now, bag of chips. Dipsy doodles(BBQ!)/Crispy cheese doodles(never puffy)/sour cream and onion.

Other winners:

• $.25 Nutty bars (wafers=carbs, peanut butter=protein, TWO came in one pack)
  
• $.50 Those GIANT 2-for- a-dollar cookie packs!!! Yo, I used to make myself sick eating those things. The fudge striped cookies were the best, and you knew they were bootlegs of the Keebler ones you always saw on TV, but it didn't matter.
  

My poor mother, she packed me tuna and alfalfa sandwiches and wondered why she had a fat kid...LOL

Coup Proofing

We've already seen Britney go off the deep end in 2007. You know who might be joining her for the holidays? Every single Knicks fan!

You can't overstate the level of passion and frustration here. I have rational, thoughtful friends sending me e-mails like, "I turned down courtsides tonight because I would have ended up walking over to Dolan's seat and punching him in the face."

Bill Simmons wrote a (typically) funny column lambasting us Knicks fans, telling us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and making the (accurate) point that one of the only reasons that the ongoing black comedy/tragedy that is the Knicks gets as much national attention as it does is because we're such a big damn media market. I say give them some credit, a multi-million dollar lost sexual harassment suit? Star players having sex with interns in their trucks? An owner that cares more about the outfits of the Knicks City Dancers than the Knicks' actual won/lost record? I'm not even getting into the Rangers. I think this might get some national attention even coming out of Utah.

Seriously though, I get his point. It's not that bad and it's our memory of the recent good years that make this now so awful. But at least we had the good years.

Alright, now that I've perfunctorily acknowledged my self absorption as a native New Yorker and longtime Knicks fan, I'm going to proceed to bitch and moan and feel sorry for myself.

I am officially on Knicks strike. I am not a Knicks fan until Dolan sells the team. It's not enough to fire Isaiah. Even if he's fired, he'll just get replaced by some other sycophant that will continue to run that team into the ground. No self-respecting basketball professional is going to work in that madhouse. Only kiss-asses that know how to navigate the dysfunctional culture that Dolan has created will take this job. For my organizational behavior class at Wagner, one of our readings was about how Saddam Hussein had coup-proofed himself in Iraq by setting up reward structures that all flowed through him, ensuring that no group of factions would ever get together to overthrow him. Dolan, for all his basketball incompetence, is a pretty damn good despot. Even fucking David Stern can't get him removed.

Looking at the team itself, one of the things that frustrates me the most is that it's actually really hard to hate this team which is why I'm choosing to hate Dolan. This isn't like the Jailblazers of the late 90s. Save Steph when he's acting petulant, most of them seem like likable people. They always publicly support the coach, each other and the organization. It was classy to stand as a team at Don Marbury's funeral as a public statement of unity, especially after Steph had so recently cut out on them. Talent-wise, each player is someone I can easily see most general managers wanting on their roster depending on their needs. Save Jerome James (why???), there really isn't any dead wood on the roster. Everyone has some valuable basketball assets (just not enough defensive assets). But it's like Zeke wants the whole to end up equaling less than the sum of its parts.

So I'm on Knicks strike. I'm not rooting for an NBA team (though I enjoy watching the Celtics) until Dolan is replaced.